Holding On

Have you ever lost passion for something? Given up on it? Did it return?

This was captured at the same time the photos from Let’s Go for a Walk were taken. It struck me how the leaf, and perhaps Fall itself, was still trying to hold on.

leaf in Japanese maple tree holds on

I meant to post this when I took it last month, but I forgot about it. Surprising, considering this image made me realize that I liked taking pictures. Taking photos for myself is actually becoming more enjoyable.

You see, I ran a photography business for five years: family portraits, some commercial work, but mostly horse shows. About three years in, I was done with it but kept pushing myself for “one more year” hoping to change my attitude, or the market, or the … anything.

For the past few years, just picking up my camera was an encumbrance. When I realized I was showing up and just pushing the shutter button to get through the gig, I knew I was really done. I’d stopped taking pictures for the fun of taking a picture.  I’d lost all passion for it.

So much, in fact, that when I shut the business down last year I had considered selling all of my equipment. My husband, bless him, talked me out of it and encouraged me to hold on, to take small steps towards finding my passion for photography once more. No business, just personal work.

It’s taken nearly two years, but the camera is reached for now, rather than pushed away. I see the light anew, the way it cascades over a landscape or an object, and it’s so very encouraging.

I held on just long enough.

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